perksofbeingsjt

secret zerozero one all i want is to not want. i want to not care. i want to be totally nonchalant feeling hurts too much. today i want to get lost to be found to go crazy to make sense to go out to go to bed to stay up all night to take a nap              love isn't perfect. it isn't fun all the time. it isn't easy, it's not always happy. it isn't all kisses on the lips and entangled fingers. love isn't looking at a girl and wanting to shred her clothes off. love isn't crying yourself to sleep every night. love isn't worth the time. love is not big boobs and a big ass and some nice curves inbetween. love isn't your heart feeling

He's not coming back this time. It's hard to remember that sometimes when a door shuts, it just stays closed. There's no other consequence. No other opportunity. Just one more way you can't go. One more person that you can't follow. Sometimes, you're just as stuck as you feel so it doesn't matter if the earth travels one million six hundred thousand miles through space every day. You are in the same place as yesterday so all that other movement is just superfluous. It's not bringing anyone closer together. It's not going toward any sort of destination. There is no end. No point. It's just ceaseless movement through an ever-expanding universe

i'm fucking sick of this noxious existance. everyone loves me and everyone looks at me the exact same fucking way with their cloudy eyes and straight teeth. stop fucking could you please just stop fucking fuck could you please stop just stop fucking talking to me i've already heard every word you're saying and it's gotten to a point where your heart felt confessions that bring you to tears are just echo's off of obsidian cave walls. i'm bored. not with the people i'm friends with but with humanity. i want to shed my scalded skin and run naked with the wolves, hair knotted something fear and the blood of my prey for facepaint. i know th

i do not know how anyone can wake up and be so fucking certain of their lives when all i can do is doubt everything and do you know? the number of times i've wrung these eyelashes. what's the matter, what's the matter? these things, they aren't even solid like numbers: just in-the-fridge-leftovers of maybe-sometime-memories. and some days i wish that i could remember anything for once instead of searching blindly for something i'm not even sure is there. it's all white-light. white-noise. and these white-lips. (you always said ghost-white suited me, anyway.) (the earth is spinning out of           con troll.) wel

said the bird to the fly, "the world is as transpar- ent as your fucked wings." said the fly to the bird, "your heart is as hollow as your brittle bones."

The world is a beautiful place, as long as you don't wear out your welcome. And you, my friend, have worn out your welcome. Welcome to hell. Come, we'll sail down Acheron and I'll drown you myself. Only a couple of coins and we'll get you through Styxx. But my ardent grin is the last thing you'll see as I tie you down with my hatred/jealousy/whatever you want to call it and leave you choking on your own flowing regret. Sorrow populates your veins as you come to realize the full error of your ways. Today might not be the day. And neither might tomorrow, but that day will come as surely as the sun will set on your makeshift joy. You're a skill